There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
