oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize