last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize