But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I have post one night stand depression
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