Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
