I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
