He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
