You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
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I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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