tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
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