I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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