then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
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Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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