We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Randomize
