No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
