I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
