I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
