I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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