i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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