So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
