I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
