wrigley field is MILF paradise
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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