Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
