Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
