So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
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He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
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Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.