I want to have your abortion
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.