I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
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He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
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I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex