I love black thongs
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize