But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
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So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
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I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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