I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
