His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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