what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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