Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
