So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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