I will die if light touches me.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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