I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
