You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
God I need to hump something, right now.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
