I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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