My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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