Yo dont text me then not text me
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
