I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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