Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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