What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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