That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
