He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
