I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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