My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
