I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I made him laugh his dick is mine
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Two words: nipple clamps
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