Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize