Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize