I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
