Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
