the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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