Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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