do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
