doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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