ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Randomize
