My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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