So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
