hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
