Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
