sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
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The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
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Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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