Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
it's like heaven, but drunker
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
My feet surprised me
Randomize
