The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
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