the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
