It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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