So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize