Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize