I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I love having hate sex.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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