Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
